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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Matthew Harris' LiveJournal:

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    Sunday, March 29th, 2015
    2:52 pm
    Considering leaving the country
    I have been thinking of leaving the country, to teach English.

    The reason for this is...well, you know about my struggles finding employment. "Entry level" seems to be a Master's Degree and two year's experience, minimum, in this country. So I am thinking of going overseas (Taiwan is my first choice). I would most likely be making enough money to save, getting experience, seeing things...all of this seems to be quite a difference from my prospects here, which are MAYBE to find some part-time work in Pocatello or something. (nothing against Pocatello).

    I don't want to talk about it too much now because I don't want to get people's hopes up. Its obviously a lot to think about, and sometimes it seems like a really fun idea, and at other times it just seems so daunting! It is quite a big difference between thinking about it and doing it. I don't want to talk big if it doesn't work out. Especially since right now I am just in the research phase.
    Thursday, March 26th, 2015
    12:59 am
    I know it is only Wednesday:
    I know it is only Wednesday, but...

    I've managed to not procrastinate at all this week. Everything I wrote down to do, I've been doing.

    How long can this last?
    Tuesday, March 24th, 2015
    1:39 am
    I feel old
    I feel old.
    And not is some world-weary weepy way my body just feels tired and heavy.


    Posted via m.livejournal.com.

    Saturday, March 21st, 2015
    5:04 pm
    Okay, and after that last post
    Although that last post is kind of heavy, I am also just trying to...

    live day to day, and move on out.

    As I have explained, and I don't have to explain, I am still stuck in a Catch-22: need to move to get a job, need to get a job to move. And I need to clean my stuff away. Which I am behind on, really I wanted to be doing this last year at this time. I have done a lot of stuff this year, but with the year a quarter done, I want to do more than just "get started" with it.

    I am thinking that if I can't come up with a better idea by my birthday, I am going to have to plan to go back to Taiwan.
    4:58 pm
    I should say:
    Its kind of hard to write this down on LJ, because its kind of abrupt, but my brother died earlier this week.

    For those who don't know the context, my brother had a degenerative condition and was not expected to live even as long as he did. It had become especially clear in the past few months that this was going to happen. Obviously, the entire thing is sad, but it is not a surprise.
    Friday, March 20th, 2015
    11:34 am
    I could be bound in a nutshell...
    Last night, I had a dream that I could bicycle across the country in a day.

    Imagine if that was true!

    Alternatively, the dream is telling me to move to Malta. :)
    Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
    12:16 am
    Oh, has it been a week?
    It has been a busy week, but I don't know what to say about it now.
    Wednesday, March 11th, 2015
    1:38 am
    Vague journaling....
    That seems kind of harsh, doesn't it?


    Posted via m.livejournal.com.

    1:38 am
    Half-century completed
    I finished my first half-century of the year.
    Hope I am not too sore tomorrow.


    Posted via m.livejournal.com.

    Sunday, March 8th, 2015
    2:47 pm
    Four boxes and three bags
    After spending a lot of January and February sorting through things, yesterday I managed to give away four boxes of books and three bags full of clothing. On my trip up to Missoula, I also managed to buy some good kava, a new shoulder bag, and a new pair of pants. :)

    These seem like small steps, but they are making me feel better about things.

    It is also sunny, and it looks like winter is going to be over. Soon we might even have flashes of green grass!

    Of course, I still am afraid of getting too process oriented: just giving away stuff isn't going to get me where I need to go, but it is a good step. I want to see where I can get by the end of March.
    Friday, March 6th, 2015
    7:10 pm
    I haven't posted for a week, so...
    I haven't posted for a week.

    Not that it hasn't been an uneventful week, but its kind of been an oscillating eventful week. I have bad days, I have good days, I go places, but nothing specifically to right about.

    My mother did return.

    The most eventful news that might actually have future significance, is that I got a call about a job that I am "overqualified" for...it will be interesting to see if anything comes of that.
    Thursday, February 26th, 2015
    8:10 pm
    Where I went today:
    Today, as is the case many days, I stayed inside and moped about, feeling bored and anxious until after 3 PM. And then I was like, "I gotta go somewhere", and luckily there is enough daylight now that I can still do that. I left, and while at first I was just going to go around the neighborhood, I ended up going further afield, all the way to the Bitterroot National Forest. The location where I went was actually a place I hadn't gone since 2012. It certainly made me feel better to go there, though.

    IMG_1481
    Monday, February 23rd, 2015
    1:12 am
    A weekend snowed in, and I was bored
    I was planning on getting some bicycle riding done this weekend, I certainly need it because I am feeling antsy again.

    But then it snowed: snow is good, it was getting too warm, and there were flies flying. Covering the ground with snow will stop spring from starting too soon. But, it left me inside, bored, with nothing to do. things I did do: manage to apply for one job, and go out to the garage and move some things around.

    Boredom is my main problem, I guess. I feel that there is nothing to sink my teeth into. The discussion, whatever it is supposed to be, is not going on, or at least it is not going on for me. I am thinking of ways to rectify this. Well, more like I am HOPING for ways to rectify this, it is just a wish with no teeth in it right now.
    Saturday, February 21st, 2015
    7:51 pm
    12:29 am
    Books stopped enchanting me, sadly
    Compared to past times, when books could just enchant me and "read" seemed to be a great plan for a day, or even a week, books no longer hold my attention. Even casual reading seems to quickly be broken down by the voices ringing in my ear, telling me to go online and see "what is going on".

    Ah well, cycles.
    Wednesday, February 18th, 2015
    9:53 pm
    I lost my bike lock
    There is quite a lot going on in my life right now.

    Today, I couldn't find my bike lock.

    On Sunday, I went shopping at the other end of town, and brought my bike lock along. My bag doesn't zip up, so there is a pretty good chance that after doing a lot of shopping, I put it on top of some groceries and it fell off.

    This really bothers me.

    For some (obvious) reason, when I have a lot of change going on in my life, I often get overly worried when a physical object goes broken or lost. I guess because I can grasp the presence/absence of a physical object, when I can't grasp larger things.

    Also, I got that bike lock in the summer of 2009. So little of the summer of 2009 is left to me, although my life looks similar enough. It was actually Katrina who figured out how to set my combination in it: and while I don't know if I know Katrina any better than the people I went to third grade with, it was a physical linkage between us, one of the few left.

    Of course, I could have just put it somewhere, it could be in the lost and found at K-Mart. I don't know. Or I might have to accept that it got dropped in the road and is still there.
    Monday, February 16th, 2015
    11:51 am
    It snowed last night
    It snowed last night, but it has already mostly melted.
    Saturday, February 14th, 2015
    6:22 pm
    I tried to make samosas
    I tried to make samosas. But it didn't quite work.

    Time to analyze my experiences and prepare for better samosas.
    Thursday, February 12th, 2015
    2:48 pm
    Achievement unlocked: 3x30
    For a while, I've thought about doing what I call a "3x30", riding 30 miles on my bicycle 3 days in a row.

    I managed that, this M-W.

    30 miles isn't that far for me, and even 90 miles is less than my one day record, but...

    Well, it does take something extra to get up and do it 3 days in a row.

    My knees also really hurt.
    Friday, February 6th, 2015
    1:20 pm
    Went on a bike ride, took some pictures!
    The weather here has warmed up, at least temporarily, and the days have also gotten longer. I also got my bike back from the shop. I took this opportunity to go on a bike ride, 44 miles, which not really long by the standards of my in-season riding, is pretty long for the beginning of February, when there isn't a lot of day light and I am out of condition.

    IMG_1408

    Skalkahowithsnow
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