Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Matthew Harris' LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 29th, 2012
10:54 am	Framing, technology and relationships You can read this and comment on this if you want, but I am more writing it out to take mental notes for myself. One of the main concepts in Heidegger is that technology is the process of "framing" things. You have a thing or a place that can be described or experienced a number of ways, but by putting a frame around it, you turn it into a resource, a technology. So if you have a field of grain, you put a frame around it and it is now "500 bushels of wheat". If you have a forest, you put a frame around it, and it is now "5000 board feet of lumber", or whatever. We constantly put frames around things, to quantify them, to give them places. And this isn't done for greed as much as it is a cognitive habit. In our world today, much economic activity is centered around relationships and human development. But those relationships can be framed, turned into technology, in the same way that a mountain full of copper can. Medical care and education are two of the biggest, and fastest growing fields in the country. I am theoretically employed in one of them. And in those fields, people are "framed" into students and patients. But I don't think it is economic gain that causes this. It seems to be natural human instinct to frame people into relationships, even back in preschool, kids did it. "I'll be your best friend!" And the internet certainly helps this, because now all our little interactions and encounters can be framed. "He is my Facebook friend", "She is my Livejournal friend", "we are tagged in this picture together". and...I might have had more to say about that, but I am tired now. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
12:00 am	Project done! It involves 33 people, eleven countries, six continents, two ex-girlfriends, and two pairs of married couples, but my project is now done. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
8:58 pm	And to prove that all I do isn't to dwell on the past... All of these entries where I talk about the last decade of my life and how badly I messed it up, I might give the impression that I am just a big ball of introspection. Not so! I have been busy/tired through May, but today I took my bicycle on a 15 mile trip up Sleeping Child Road, up to about the 5000 foot mark. It was a cold day in town today, and in the mountains it was just a few degrees above freezing...and a few hundred feet above me, it was snowing. At the end of the road, there was a trail, and I walked along it. Not for long, because it was cold and wet, but long enough that I now want to come back to it. (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 26th, 2012
10:49 pm	When I stopped listening to music This is another part of "Closing Time": I stopped listening to music sometime in the past few years. Of course I didn't totally stop listening to music. I don't dislike or despise music. I sometimes still get into really listening to music. Especially when less-than-sober. But at some point between...oh, 29 and now, music lost its role as kind of my emotional pacekeeper. And as my source of identity. Remember back to your early teen years, when that amorphous stuff that came out of the radio started to communicate nuances of identity and social placement that became so important? I do. I remember memorizing the all-so-important answers to the question "What type of music are you into", which at the time, the best answer was Alternative Rock and some of the better Classic Rock bands. If you really wanted to be tony, you would mention also liking classical or jazz. But "No Rap and No Country" was also needed, although we would all pick up hip-hop in a few years, at a quicker or slower pace. And from the age I was 14 to the age I was 28, music would be the thing. It would be what I went to when I was happy or sad, or more importantly, when I wanted to be happy or sad. Music was the perfect tool for manipulating my emotions. And why would I want my emotions manipulated? ...that is another question entirely. At some point, this stopped being something I needed to do every day. For most of 2011, I would still listen to music: I listened to a 16 disc set of John Coltrane, one disc a month, for about a year. This year, I have stopped even doing that. Whatever is going on in my head, it can't be captured by music. And when I look at my progress forward in life (such as it is)... it just isn't about finding a new band or a new genre. See, I am getting old! (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 25th, 2012
11:03 am	The weather in Montana is wonderfully malleable. The weather in Montana is wonderfully malleable. The thing about Montana isn't that the winter lasts into June or something: at least in my part of Montana, its usually passably warm by the middle of March, most days. A week or so ago, the temperature here was I believe somewhere in the 80s. No, the thing is that the seasons follow the progression that I am used to in Portland, and then blindside me. A week ago it was in the 80s. Right now, at 11 AM, the temperature here is in the 40s. And that is the part that always throws me. I was thinking that today I was going to go and do something outside, because as mentioned earlier, I haven't done that much in May. But with the weather, and with me still being tired, I am thinking that today is another inside day. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 21st, 2012
11:10 pm	Since April... If you all remember back a few weeks ago, in April I was writing all sorts of stuff here and having epiphanies left and right and we were all getting our introspection going. For the past few weeks, I've been less active on here. If you are curious what happened, let me explain with one word: work. Even though I don't work too much, its kind of reset my life and what it is about. It just kind of gives me something to structure my week around. Even though I know there is a much bigger world than working nine hours a week gardening in Hamilton, Montana...I kind of like focusing on my job and focusing on the steps I must take to get it done. So if I am not happy, I am at least passably content. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 18th, 2012
1:43 am	An Inspector Spacetime picture (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
10:06 pm	I am tired. And cranky. And worked a lot. I am tired and cranky and worked a lot and didn't nap and am going to try to sleep early and it is hot in my house and once I sleep, I will sleep all night and then it will be tomorrow and I will get up and do more gardening. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 13th, 2012
11:40 pm	As I mentioned before, I've been sleeping a lot lately: As I mentioned a few weeks ago, since beginning this job, I have been napping happily for the first time in a long time. Today I got up, did some chores (I mopped all the floors with my new mop!)...and then, went back to bed, and slept through most of the afternoon. I got up and went for a little bike ride and then came home and watched Doctor Who:A Christmas Carol. (FLYING SHARKS. WHERE ARE THE LAZER BEAM EYES?) And now I am going to bed. It is kind of funny, back in February and March, I had energy to burn. Now, I feel always a little tired, which is kind of weird considering I am only working 9 hours a week. Over three days. But, you know. I haven't left the Bitterroot Valley since January. I am feeling kind of trapped here. But I will just feel good about making my 81 dollars a week. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
10:48 pm	So I watched all of Series 6 I watched all of Series 6, and I don't know if because of that, but I am feeling a little depressed and odd. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 11th, 2012
8:45 pm	Series 6! I am going to go watch Series 6 of Doctor Who. Looking forward to it. ...I've watched the climactic scene of "Day of the Moon" many times on youtube, often while drunk, but now I get to watch the whole thing! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 9th, 2012
8:25 am	Two dreams I woke up from last night: As mentioned, I managed to get to sleep fairly early, before midnight. Around 3 AM, I woke up from a nightmare based around a number of factors that really shouldn't be too scary. It involved Rifts, aprilstarchild joining a cult, and Ultron. Rifts is kind of cheesy, Ultron is a stereotypical "robot programmed to destroy", and yet seeing an Ultron in a dream about to disintegrate me was a nightmare indeed. ...Ultron, what? My second dream was that I was wandering around Portland, saw Katrina, and basically chased her against a moving MAX until she had to talk to me. (Besides this wasn't in Portland, it was actually around Fisher's Landing in Vancouver) And explain to me everything. And then we reconciled, of sorts. And then I woke up kind of happy and kind of sad. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 8th, 2012
9:32 pm	I am very tired I am in the third week of working at my job. I am only working three days a week, three hours a day. But I am exhausted. I am also doing other things. I am still shelving at the library. So today I got up at 8 AM, gardened for three hours, bicycled home, ate lunch, bicycled to the library to shelve books for three hours, came home, and was just very tired. Like, honestly, in some ways this is comparable to bicycling 80 miles. I should point out that when I say my job is "gardening", I am somewhat understating what I do, since it is more "groundskeeping". Like today I was sawing the limbs off trees. But still, I am more tired than I should be! It is kind of an interesting contrast, for much of the beginning of this year, I kept on making plans and lists, because I had to think of something to do with my energy. Now, I have things to do and am somewhat short on energy. And I am not worrying, not fretting, I am actually doing that entire hippie goal of "living in the present". (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 7th, 2012
6:35 pm	My history with Doctor Who My history with Doctor Who starts...as a young child, watching the Fourth Doctor on PBS. But I don't really remember that. Skip ahead to 2005 or so, when I find a Tenth Doctor novel (The Stone Rose) on sale at the Library book store for 75 cents. I read it, and am quite impressed, and decide to read any other Doctor Who novels who come my way. Such as "Genesis of the Daleks". But Doctor Who novels, either classic or new, are hard to come by. I put Doctor Who aside as a geeky thing that I like but don't know much about. April of 2011, after a rather sad trip to Portland, I pick up two Doctor Who novels to read on the bus, featuring the 5th and 7th doctors. (Four to Doomsday and Delta and the Bannerman, neither of which are great Who stories, sadly). And strangely enough, the same week that I read them, I start hanging out with my friend Jelena, who is kind of an all purpose geek. Level 99 in FFXI type geek. And later in the summer, around about July, she finds Doctor Who on BBC America, and one day when I go over to her house, she sits me down and I watch "The Christmas Invasion" and "New Earth", which I like (although at the time and now, I think both are a bit cheesy, tbh). Soon, its kind of the highlight of me going over there. One day, we watch five episodes in a row. At first, we are mostly watching them off of DVR, I get a scattershot of the 10th and 11th Doctor, jumping back and forth a lot (which doesn't matter quite so much with Doctor Who). She gets the series and I watch all the key episodes. I start delving into the mythology. I feel kind of weird, going over to her house and closeting myself with a girl a decade younger than me, so we can talk about (BTW, April, you want might want to skip this bit) WHETHER THERE WERE SILENCE HIDING IN HITLER'S OFFICE. (How could there not be, right?). I am pretty experienced in science-fiction, fantasy, the "geek canon", and I am surprised (as Michael Moorcock and Harlan Ellison did) that a show with such a ridiculous, simple premise can be so great. A show written for children, with gaping plot holes, twists in logical and characterization, and sometimes just straight-up camp, can also be one of the most avant-garde shows available. Its also kind of silly, but even at the age of 32, I was pretty well influenced by the sight of a good male role-model on television. The Doctor isn't scared, because he is smart. The Doctor doesn't need to use violence, because he is smart. The Doctor breaks away from the pattern of men on television being either violent bullies or bumbling idiots (okay, actually, he is both at times). It sounds silly, but I am a better person for watching the show. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
1:48 am	I must be doing something right I don't know exactly why, but the past six weeks have been the first time in years that I have had lots of meaningful responses and actual discussions on my livejournal. Thanks for everyone reading and commenting! (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 5th, 2012
12:54 pm	It is a "Do All The Things" type of day I got up early today, went to the Farmer's Market, said hello to my friends, and then I came home and now I am messing up the tenses on this entry. Oh, and doing all the things. With "Do All The Things" here to mean "get rid of a ridiculous can of grass jelly drink in my cupboard". (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
3:01 am	Since last entry did so well: Since last entry's observation of gender differences did so well, lets see if I can keep my popularity by pointing out: Whats the deal with airline peanuts?!?!!? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
11:46 pm	A pet peeve of mine: Actually, "pet peeve" itself is a pet peeve. But that is another story entirely. Anyway, thing that annoys me, in varying degrees: Women who think that men (namely, myself) are incompetent or ignorant in certain areas. Condescending attitudes towards men for not knowing how to cook is a good example. A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a woman online, and I mentioned making myself a peanut butter sandwich and she said something like "Oh guys, its always sandwiches, ramen and cereal"...and it was just really annoying, because it isn't true, and it is spinning a picture of me out of nothing. And I am always confused about what women's self image is: do they think that every evening, they are eating sautéed asparagus by candlelight while perusing Proust? I guess one reasons why this might be seen as acceptable is that these skills are seen as less essential, which is kind of insulting to the skills involved. But for some reason, it might be acceptable to giggle at a man because he doesn't know how to cook, while it wouldn't be acceptable to giggle at a woman because she doesn't know how to do math. ANYWAY! Continue on with your internetting. (32 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 30th, 2012
9:55 pm	My unlucky day, (but at least I got shoes) So today I woke up bright and early, because even though my mom said she would drive me to work (which is like 1/2 a mile away), I didn't know if she would be available. And as mentioned earlier, bicycle not working. But then it was raining, so work was postponed. The bicycle still had to be fixed, so around noon, we tried to get it into my mother's Prius. Which didn't work. And got me frustrated, even though I try not to be frustrated and angry about stuff not working. The reason it got me so frustrated is because growing up, things often didn't work. Or broke. Or my family was often left in precarious circumstances. One time, my mother drove her car through our gate, and it got stuck. And she then had to walk 30 miles roundtrip to get a hacksaw to cut our car loose, and my sister and I were stuck at home all day, without food, wondering where my mother was. Stuff like that was happening, so when stuff doesn't work, I sometimes get flashbacks to EVERYTHING IS BORKEN. But today, I just walked my bicycle into town to get it fixed. My paycheck had been deposited, so I was even able to buy new socks. And at our local thrift store, I found these shoes: Which are exciting because they don't have holes in them, unlike the shoes on the left. Which I then discarded. Why am I talking about shoes? Because even on a day when I was rainy and sleep deprived, I went and TOOK CARE OF BUSINESS. And this concludes my Walpurgis Nacht. Tomorrow will be a happy lovely day, I am hoping. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 29th, 2012
11:15 pm	I got everything cleared I got everything cleared. Okay, well, not in the "real world". After yesterday's troublesomeness, I decided that today I wouldn't do anything. Or rather, that I would do all the things by just allowing myself to lazily settle into the soft couch cushion that is an infinitely long Sunday afternoon. But perhaps you know how Sunday afternoons work: while they last forever, it is not possible to use that time wisely. Or at all. So now it is 11 PM, and I realize that my accomplishments for today are clearing out my inbox on E2, and on thuderbird. And walking around a lot in Final Fantasy II. Not exactly what I want on my tombstone. Every day we are given the chance to embrace the hiddenness of Being. And most days, we end up doing things like...that. But its not unimportant, sometimes these days allow me to...think. Get some clarity. Although the upside of that is, since my inbox is now clear, don't you want to trample on the virgin snow by causing me to get lots of LJ comment notifications? (2 Comments |Comment on this)